…relationships are not about how two people can survive each other but about how the whole world becomes more capable of love, with all its dim anguish and glowing rapture.

~David Richo


A Long Desire: The History of Love

A quote from the first chapter of the book I’m reading, on the history of love.

Other eras had other matters on their minds – salvation, honor, inheritance, knowledge, war, a plunging birthrate. We treasure love. It quenches, vexes, guides, and murders us. It seeps into the mortar of all our days. It feeds our passions, it fills our fantasies, it inspires our art. What will future eras make of this?

– Diane Ackerman



There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

– C. S. Lewis


Friends vs Lovers

Suppose you are fortunate enough to have “fallen in love with” and married your Friend.  And now suppose it possible that you were offered the choice of two futures: “Either you two will cease to be lovers but remain forever joint seekers of the same God, the same beauty, the same truth, or else, losing all that, you will retain as long as you live the raptures and ardours, all the wonder and the wild desire of Eros.  Choose which you please.”  Which should we choose?  Which choice should we not regret after we had made it?

– C.S. Lewis