I hate “games”.  I can’t stand them, in fact.  I would like to just be myself.  But myself gets super excited about things, and can be pretty intense.  Which of course can be misunderstood and overwhelming to men, hence the need to try to behave calmly, remain more aloof, and “play hard to get.”  Because if I find something good, I want to do everything in my power to keep it, but there are many books and things (I think mainly that other people have read and told me about) and other people’s experiences that say that men should pursue, because they like it, and they get bored if they don’t have to pursue.  But then a lot of men don’t pursue.  I know some men are scared of being rejected, because maybe they have less confidence than other men, and they hate it when women play hard to get.  However, there are also men who don’t pursue because they don’t have to, because women throw themselves at them.  I have also been told by my dad that women should play hard to get a little, and let the guy pursue, but at the same time, give hints that they are into him, because my dad said he was shy when he was younger.  So then how much not pursuing do I do and how much hinting do I do?  It’s so ridiculous.  And men often want to know how much pursuing they should do, and buying flowers writing poems singing songs etc, or maybe just things like telling a girl she’s beautiful (just a note though, buying flowers is always recommended. It’s really not that crazy.  It’s quite simple, can be pretty cheap, and the vast majority of girls like flowers.  Please, men, buy more flowers.  Stop whatever this crazy stubbornness is).  The answer to that, though, depends on if the girl is into him or not.  Which, if he’s asking, he probably doesn’t know if she is.  But most romantic things are only romantic if the girl likes the guy, and if she doesn’t, they’re creepy.  So I don’t have a good suggestion there…

Basically, my analysis is that everyone is different, and everyone has preferences, and there’s no way to know what the person you’re into is into, when you’re in this stage of meeting, figuring out how you feel about each other, etc.  So this is why we try to figure out what is the most safe option, and we end up having to “play games”.  I don’t see a way around it.  As much as I hate it.  So, y’all can decide what you think is most likely to succeed.  But men, I will still say buying flowers is a great option.  Unless she doesn’t like you…(but hey, if you know she likes you, YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE).  If anyone has any better ideas…..?


2 thoughts on “Games

  1. I don’t like playing games, either. It feels dishonest, which I loathe with a passion. So I decided to stop playing games and be honest. And now I’m dating an honest, non-game-playing guy. Moral of the story: we don’t have to make ourselves miserable if we don’t want to. God digs honesty. So do some really good guys.

  2. Elizabeth is right. God digs honesty. So do good guys.

    From my personal experience, I had the very opposite. When I’m honest, sincere and refusing to play games, I find that guys tend to respect me. I had guys tell me they like that because it makes me look confident, mature, and a girl who automatically gains respect. My ex told me that thats what made me very attractive to him and why he thought I was a girl worth pursuing. Sadly, we didnt share the same views on important matters. But I had a good, honest, straightforward relationship with a mature, decent guy.

    I really dont like playing games. To me it feels dishonest, manipulative, sometimes even foolish. I dont like people playing games with me. It makes me feel disrespected. So why would I do that to someone else, especially a guy I care about? I want to be a classy lady and playing games doesnt seem to fit there.

    I never really felt that I had to play games. The initial “gettng to know” can be awkward but I try to let it happen naturally.

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