Female, 28, Married 1 1/2 years

What does romantic love mean to you?

I think the word “romance” probably means a lot of different things to different people. To me, romance is that sweet golden lining that has the power to stop time and make you completely oblivious to the rest of the world. I do not think romance is essential to life, but I do think it’s essential to any sort of relationship based on marriage or long-term commitment. Because without romance, you’re just acting as business partners.

What is the difference between platonic love and romantic love?

I think there’s more of an obsession (in a healthy way) and desire to partner in romantic love than there is in platonic relationships.

Why do you (or we, if you don’t) seek love?

I think it’s how we’re wired. We were created to be in relationship with other people, and even though we can be selfish, I believe God also created us to care deeply about people and have the desire to partner with another person.

Is there one perfect person out there for you, or can you, through selfless loving, have a great relationship with someone very special?

I don’t think there’s only one mate for each person. I think as we go through life, we meet many people who would make great partners to us. I think having a view of there just being one person out there for you causes problems when life gets difficult. Love is a choice each day.

Should, and do, men pursue women that they are interested in? Should women pursue?

I don’t think there’s an absolute rule on this because we all have different personalities and expectations of life. I know many men who do pursue women in an honorable way, but I also know many men who are terrified to pursue women. I personally am a bit old fashioned and knew that I wanted to be pursued because I believe it says a lot about a man’s character to be able to see a woman he likes and admires and to purposefully get to know her.

If you are in a relationship (especially if you are married), how did you know that was the person for you? If not, have you ever been in love, and how did you know?

I knew my husband was right for me because we aligned on so many important aspects of how we wanted to live our lives, especially in the aspect of our faith. I also really respect and admire who he is as a person, which I think is an important element to a healthy marriage. But even more than that, we have so much fun together, and once I met him, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

How do you stay in love, or make it last?

I think it’s so important to make each other a priority. If you bought a plant but never watered it, would you expect it to stay alive? In the same way, a relationship (whether romantic or even just friendship) requires some amount of care for it to thrive.

What do you love best about the opposite sex, and what do you dislike the most about them?

The men in my life are so different that I really can’t think of one overarching characteristic (whether positive or negative) that is true for each of them.

What advice would you give? Love related, but anything at all to anyone at all.

Don’t live your life looking for love. Instead, love your life, and love will follow.

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