A short but important note:

Something that I feel needs to be addressed… it’s somewhat common knowledge, but not many people actually seem to understand it, so I’m going to lay it all out for you guys… 🙂

Women want men to do things.  Pretty simple.  These can be various things; we want flowers, we want to be told we’re beautiful, we want you to say you’re sorry when we’re upset, even if you don’t think you’re wrong, and on to the more specific and/or more complicated things.  The problem is that we don’t want to tell men that we want these things.  It kinda defeats the purpose for us.  If we tell you we want you to say you’re sorry, then your “sorry” is meaningless to us.  Most things are meaningless to us if we tell you we want you to do them.

The problem is that men frequently do not know that women want these things, and therefore do not do them, and then women get upset and men have absolutely no clue what is going on.  Now, I don’t have the perfect solution to this, but I think it helps if everyone is aware of it and tries to at least take steps towards a mutual understanding. 

Women – try to tell your man what you want.  If you’re upset about something,  that’s pretty much a no-brainer.  Tell him you’re upset and what about and why.  He’s not going to figure it out.  If you want flowers, yes that’s a little more difficult, because if you tell him then it’s not as good, but maybe just try to do it discretely; drop hints, something.  I don’t have the best answer for that kind of thing.  Open to suggestions…

Men – women pretty much need constant proof of your love.  I know it sounds silly to y’all, but it’s true.  Some women don’t need it, but MOST do.  Tell them you love them every day.  Buy them flowers periodically (unless you know for sure they don’t like flowers).  Say you’re sorry even when you don’t think you were wrong.  Remember, women are, for the most part, emotional and frequently not rational. Sorry ladies, but it’s true.  AND, if you make your woman crazy in love with you, you know what that leads to… 🙂

Basically, the biggest thing here is communication.  And the biggest problem is women trying to make the men guess what they want.  Don’t do it!!  Just tell them!!  You will both be happier.  Serious.

🙂

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10 thoughts on “A short but important note:

  1. So, the basis of a relationship should be false pretense? I should say sorry if I don’t mean it? How is it that honest communication?

    • It’s a little tricky…haha. Not if you don’t mean it…but if you don’t think you were wrong but do want to resolve the problem. For example, I’ve had times where my significant other said or did something that upset me. Now, he didn’t mean what I thought he meant, or I misunderstood in some way, or just was upset for some silly reason. But what he could have apologized for could have been something like “I’m sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to,” etc. He didn’t think he did anything wrong, but there’s usually some sort of apology that can be made, and something that you genuinely feel and you want to make it right, even if the girl is being silly and you don’t comprehend why she is upset. Does that make sense? If you just straight up don’t care and don’t want to fix it, don’t…you will have problems but there obviously are problems if that is the case 🙂 The issue here is that girls are silly and guys don’t understand why, but you have to just get past the fact that there might be no logical reason for her to be upset, you just have to find something you CAN apologize for, and do it.

      And FYI, I am speaking in general about my experiences, not one specific guy…

  2. I disagree with almost everything you said here. It may be true for you, but I don’t think you can make a generalization like that. For example:

    I hate being placated. Don’t apologize just to shut me up. That’s insulting.

    I never mind surprises, but I don’t expect them. If I want something, I will tell you. The fact that I tell you I want it doesn’t lessen the thing at all. I know you’re not a mind reader, and the fact that you listen to me means you care.

    I am not silly. I am a rational and practical human being, and if you treat me like something fragile and silly, I will walk all over you, chew you up, and spit you out.

    I think you are taking a personality type and trying to make it work for a whole gender. There are many personality types and they can be either gender. This is a good post for someone interested in dating you but not as a general description of women.

    • This has been my experience with at least 80% of the women I know and it is also the stereotypical woman. You may be different, and I did clarify that not everyone is like this, but it is a really common issue. Personally, I am irrational for max 5 minutes, and then I am logical and can discuss and realize I was dumb for being upset. Also, I always express exactly what I want. This is my observations partially from me, but a lot from other women.

      • It’s true that I have more male friends than female, but I don’t think that I have many female friends that fit this description. I think it’s impossible to make a generalization about one gender or another. Actually, generalizations in general (haha) tend to land us in trouble. From my own personal experience, it’s been much more helpful to learn about personality types 🙂

  3. Generalizations are used by all major companies in the world to analyze there customer base, anything from soap to the kind of car you buy. So karen for you to say that it lands us in trouble, you must not know your facts, because if it works for them ( and trust me you can ask any major business owner) it works here. Its the easiest way to compare something. Now don’t get me wrong, there are always exceptions ( which might be you and your small group of female friends). However as a whole, this is how women tend to think and act. That’s why so many magazines and articles are written about communication between genders. So if your are going to write something, please present facts so they can be compared. Don’t just attack at blog based on how they might catorgerize something based on your opinion and not fact.

    As for the blog it self, i would like to see more facts from other people researching the same thing. so that we can compare what you are saying, to what other people have found, as far as the communication between genders. Not a bad start though.

    • Of course generalizations are often used. You’re right, that’s how companies often sell things. But for an individual to make such a specific generalization about approximately fifty percent of the population – that seems like a stretch. There are a few generalizations you can make about women, such as “they are born with ovaries” but even in that case you have genetic anomalies and sex changes. Perhaps I, and my friends, are different. But I don’t think that anyone should be put in a mold based on their gender. Of course, you are entitled to your own opinion, as I am to mine.

      Adrienne, I hope you know that my comment was not at all an attack on this blog. I think it is wonderful and amazing that you are exploring your passion. I enjoy reading your posts and the comments others leave. I like to hear other peoples opinions and views. When I state my own opinion, it can often come off very blunt. It’s something I’m working on, and I apologize again if it came off as an attack.

  4. Pingback: Apologies | Reflections on Love

  5. Pingback: Flowers | Reflections on Love

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