Female, 30 years old, married (very happily) for 5 1/2 years (no children)

What does romantic love mean to you?

TBH, the phrase “romantic love” tends to make me say “uclh.” It makes me think of all the shallow, sickly sweet, sappy stuff. But real love of a romantic nature, I see as a deep understanding of two people, blended with times of passion, of physical intimacy, of goofing around, and enough time alone and with friends for each person to keep their own identity and to stay refreshed.

What is the difference between platonic love and romantic love?

Friendship and sex.

Why do you (or we, if you don’t) seek love?

I enjoy having someone to share life with. I like having someone to take care of. I like having someone who looks out for me. I like sex and physical affection.

Is there one perfect person out there for you, or can you, through selfless loving, have a great relationship with someone very special?

I don’t believe in “the perfect person.” I believe there are probably quite a few people that any individual is compatible with, but no one “soulmate.” However, the longer two people are together and the more effort they put into their relationship, the more their souls entwine. I guess you could say soulmates are grown and cultivated over years.

Should, and do, men pursue women that they are interested in?  Should women pursue?

I think that’s more an issue of personality rather than gender.

If you are in a relationship (especially if you are married), how did you know that was the person for you?  If not, have you ever been in love, and how did you know?

We had physical attraction, many similar tastes (though not so similar as to be boring,) similar goals, and the longer we were together the more we liked each other. We were also very good at communicating and caring for each other.

How do you stay in love, or make it last?

Communication! Talk to the other person about everything. And, in turn, *listen* to what they tell you. Even when you’re arguing. If you find yourself in a shouting match, stop and really listen to what the other person is saying (instead of trying to shout over them) Often you’ll be surprised at what you hear. This has helped us understand each other and avoid hurting each other.
Laugh together. Don’t try to keep everything candle lit and silken. Be stupid together.
Make the time and put in the effort for physical affection. From sex to foot rubs to cuddling while watching TV, even if you don’t always feel it, show the other person that you love them, find them attractive, and enjoy being with them. Listen to what they like, and tell them what you like. Nobody is a mind reader.

What do you love best about the opposite sex, and what do you dislike the most about them?

I don’t really have general likes and dislikes.

What advice would you give?  Love related, but anything at all to anyone at all.

Just a reiteration of what I said in “how to stay in love” – Communicate; talk and listen!


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