Love sucks.

I’ve been told that guys are the eternal hopefuls.  Women are too.  Guys just hang around forever, even if a girl has said no, but is still willing to be friends.  They follow her around like a sad, lost puppy…but that is not the topic of this post.  We can discuss that later.  This is about women.

I think everyone should watch the movie He’s Just Not That Into You.  Or maybe read the book, but I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t recommend it.  If the movie is based off of it, it should undoubtedly be good.  Guys can learn things about women from the movie (because we are actually like that, for real), but mainly I think that women need to watch it so that we can try to remember those things it teaches us in our own experiences.

Women will endure all sorts of evil at the hands of a man, as long as at one time there was something good, or even a hint of something good.  Maybe there was nothing ever there, but there were signs…we’re SURE he’s into us… So, we keep waiting, justifying everything he does.  He can treat us like absolute crap, but maybe his dog died and he’s just having a hard time.

I’ve become increasingly more aware of this, because I watch that movie on a regular basis, to try to keep myself levelheaded.  I’ve been listening to shows on the radio, where girls call in because this guy isn’t calling her back and she wants to find out why, or she thinks he’s cheating on her and she wants to find out who he sends flowers to, or she wants to know what he’s doing on his business trips because she’s his assistant so she’s scheduling his fancy dinners, but she also lives with him and sleeps with him and thought it was more than it was.  They’re all just stupid.  Why you would confront your significant other (or not so significant other), or find out they’re cheating on your or that they think you’re absolutely terrible and that’s why they’re not calling you, live on the radio is beyond me.  Dumb.  Especially since most of the time the one who called in is the one who is made a fool.  But my second point is that these women are idiots with regards to the relationships.  They all need to watch He’s Just Not That Into You.  Seriously.

I heard another one tonight where people were calling in and asking for advice.  And it was all women, and they were all asking advice about these guys that were really not that great.  “He doesn’t talk to me for a month at a time, but then we slept together, and then he broke up with me, but now he wants me back.  What should I do??” The person giving the advice was an older man, and EVERY TIME he would tell the women to just say no and not keep trying, and find someone better or take time to heal.  Basically, run the other way.  RUN.

Now, I realize that it’s not so easy, we get attached, we want to be with him sooooo bad so we make excuses and we justify.  And I’m not so good at seeing it when I’m in the middle of it either.  We all think we are “the exception”.  But we need to stop!!  Wouldn’t it be great to have a guy that we don’t need to make excuses for?  Whose feelings for us are never in question?  I have said it before I believe; I refuse to give up hope.  And I don’t think that’s remotely unreasonable.  I think that we SHOULD hold out for the best.  Nothing wrong with wanting a guy that treats us right…I mean seriously, girls…stop settling!!  I will leave you with a quote from the movie:

If a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen, okay?  He will ask you out.

(and this is applicable to all situations)

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3 thoughts on “Love sucks.

  1. I’ll never understand why so many women stay with guys who are actual morons.

    You are totally right, you should always hold out for the best.

    However with that in mind, when I saw THE BEST for myself (or the best to this point)…I was like wow….helped her through a lot, made her happy, were good friends…only to find out she had been seeing somebody else the whole time. I would take her from a sad, miserable state, turn that around, and off she’d go to her other friends and guy in a much happier state. Eurgh.

    Women know the power they have….I would suggest every guy watches 500 Days of Summer.

    Nice blog 🙂

  2. The same hope I have not settling and meeting an amazing man also comes out when I’m loving one. You hope the best of them, you hope they’ll come through for you, and you hope you’ll be the exception. It is a great thing to hope and risk… but with it have wisdom. Wisdom weeds out most jerks and catches red flags. It holds you back when a situation seems beneath you. It is not always a bad thing to see the best in people but hope without wisdom is foolish.

  3. I feel like this all comes down to understanding your own self worth. In our culture, rather than looking objectively at ourselves and potential mates, we often find ourselves in a colloquial arms-race to find “the best” based on standards that are imposed upon us by the media/childhood ideals/family pressure/whatever else. While we’re racing for the best, and inevitably getting rejected (because that’s a part of life) we lose sense of our own intrinsic value as mates. Those women who call in SHOULD know they deserve better, but in the process of searching for love they lost their sense of self. They forgot that they were worth having someone love them in the way they need to be loved. The sappy, saccharine Disney ideals of love are slowly poisoning the realities of finding another human, accepting their flaws, and learning how to share love.

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