Female, 20s, Single

What does romantic love mean to you?

Everyone will have their own views about what is romantic. An example would be the 5 love languages. It’s how you show someone you care about them. How you ‘romance’ them will be specific to who you are. Some women feel romanced by a man buying them jewelry, or making cards, or washing the dishes. I don’t think it’s specific to one gender either. Men need romance as well.

What is the difference between platonic love and romantic love?

Romantic love is sexual.

Why do you (or we, if you don’t) seek love?

God is love. We are made in the image of God. We are created to love and to be loved by others. We are created to be in community and are born into a family. You can not escape love.

Is there one perfect person out there for you, or can you, through selfless loving, have a great relationship with someone very special?

Both. God’s plan for most of us is to get married and he gave one condition… that they are believers. He loves when we ask Him for help and guidance and I think He answers those prayers and brings people into our lives. I believe He shuts doors to people who are not good for us but just as we have the freedom to choose salvation He gives us freedom to choose who we marry. I think we can find someone who feels like a ‘soulmate’… because God writes amazing love stories and when we’re a part of them we can’t imagine life without them. But good people come along and we can say no and there will be others we fit with. Either way marriage is meant to grow us and no matter how well we get along with someone there will be times we think other people are better for us.

Should, and do, men pursue women that they are interested in?  Should women pursue?

Men pursue women they are interested in. Women can pursue, but why? It feels so much better to know where a guy stands and where he’s at in his feelings for you. Also in marriage it’s on a mans shoulders to lead, so suddenly switching and making him initiate is awkward after you’ve done all the work to ‘catch him’. No one wants to spend married life telling a man what to do. A relationship defined by a man pursuing also allows the woman to feel safe to ask a man for what she needs and initiate things.

If you are in a relationship (especially if you are married), how did you know that was the person for you? If not, have you ever been in love, and how did you know?

I’ve “known” beyond a shadow of a doubt and had signs and God telling me yes. And then it didn’t happen. The closest I’ve been to real love is not knowing..and just trusting in God.

How do you stay in love, or make it last?

Realize that feelings won’t last and love is a choice. That when we commit to someone we won’t always love them or want to be with them and it will take hard work. You make it last by choosing everyday to not give up. And when you see warning signs… getting help.

What do you love best about the opposite sex, and what do you dislike the most about them?

How men “soften” when they fall in love. How they get vulnerable and open up to a woman. I dislike men who are irresponsible. With their time, their lives, with the women and kids around them.

What advice would you give? Love related, but anything at all to anyone at all.

Women work too hard at relationships. Let men work. Don’t date a man who has to change. Date someone you love as they are now. You’ll never regret working on yourself and the more you love yourself the better men you’ll pick. Picture yourself with a baby
girl and picture yourself with a baby boy… would the guy you want to date be good
enough for your daughter? Do you want your son to grow up and be like him? Learn that
men don’t need to be fixed they need to be valued for how they were created. Learn how
to encourage them and respect them. People show you who they are.. let them. When
they tell you something take it at face value.

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